TheToiletPaper.com is a new online publication that delivers some of the best comedy and outlooks on current events that I have ever read. They have a unique style of writing that gives you just the information you need in a quick easy and convenient format. Lately I’ve been enjoying waking up every day to read their funny spin on what is going on in the world, and I love how they cram so much humor into about one minute worth of reading. Do yourself a favor, and check them out.

Most people started following The Onion’s unique brand of humor through the internet but The Onion has actually been an established form of satirical media for 20 years now. The Onion: Our Front Pages is a brand new 300+ page book with some of their best and funniest articles of all time, proving that the news doesn’t need to be boring. $19.

If your life is feeling a bit dull these days then maybe the perfect thing for you is a jumpstart or at the very least a change of pace. This Book Will Change Your Life is literally a book that will change your life by giving you 365 different things to do that will help break up the monotony just a bit. Things like returning all of your junk mail and other passive aggressive techniques may not actually get you real results, but you will certainly feel better afterwards. $13.

By the name of it, The Business Polo, you might think it would be appropriate attire to wear into the office for casual Friday, but actually there is a whole different type of business going on with this polo. We can imagine this one will either attract great atention or bad attention from the opposite sex depending on her attitude. $25.

1. Go as Michael Jackson

Not only did he just die recently, which is creepy enough, but he was just a creepy guy all around, and everyone is still sort of unsure about the whole “little boy” thing. Most people that see you in this costume will probably try to detain you so that you can’t ruin the trick-or-treating fun of any youngsters that night.

2. Stay Home and Hand Out Candy

Obvious the laws of probability say that if you don’t go anywhere, you won’t meet anyone, and this couldn’t be any truer than on Halloween. If for some reason you do end up being stuck home doing this (we pity you) for the love of god, do NOT hand out apples or toothbrushes. Houses get egged and TP’ed for a reason. Crappy candy.

3. Cross-Dress